March 27, 2009 - Day 1 - The REAL Deal

5:00 a.m.

So, I don't quite remember Robert's training "specialty," but he definitely knows how to deal the pain. My first real training session started on time; I was quite chipper and rarin' to go at the butt-crack of dawn - actually it was about an hour before the butt-crack of dawn - but who pays attention to those details at 4:q5 a.m.??? I met Robert for the first time and what a CUTIE - nice body, nice (evil) smile, basically the devil in disguise. My perception of him changed pretty rapidly, so I feel that I can make this observation with NO affection whatsoever. We eased into the session with a little treadmill work. I handled about 2 minutes on the treadmill with brilliant success - YES, I was jogging - but my heart rate went up to fast so he made me speed walk for the next ten minutes. Bonus points for him - I wasn't allowed to exert myself too much. But little did I know he was saving the exertion for other activities.

During the second part of my session Robert taught me a series of exercises that force me to use my own body weight to build muscle. I found out that I do in fact have abs in there somewhere. I am not sure where my gluts are, but my biceps, triceps, and thighs were definitely screaming. He made me do several sets of lunges, squats, planks, and other arm exercise pulls using a weight machine. Throughout the session Robert kept asking me how I was doing and to be honest, I felt great. I nursed a bottled water and told him to bring it on. I was quite impressed with myself!

My first session ended at 5:50 because we had to finish up some paper work. I bought a nifty watch that tracks my heart rate, calorie intake and burnage, and other cool stuff that I have not figured out yet. I had a choice between the black and red, so I immediately went for the black one to spite all of the Nebraska fans and my mother. Ever the concerned trainer, Robert asked me how I was feeling and explained that after our sessions I should get a protein shake to help my muscles do what it is that they do. Because it was my first time in the facility he took me down to the cafe and ordered me my first protein shake beverage. As we were waiting for the drink I looked at him and said "Robert, I think I am going to be sick." I made a mad dash to the garbage can and managed to puke not once, but three times. Can I say mortified??? I guess I overdid it just a bit. I have since learned that I had what is called lactic acid buildup and my body basically violently rejected it. Lucky Robert.

The rest of the day I felt great. I survived my first work out, threw up in front of my hot trainer, experienced very little soreness, and was excited about my next training session. Robert even called to ask how I was doing later in the evening and truth be told, I felt pretty good. I promised that I would not quit and would see him first thing on Monday morning.

I spent the next 48 hours crawling up and down the stairs and falling onto (not into) the toilet. My thighs screamed all day Saturday, my legs were like Jello, and I could not squat to reach the toilet seat. I was in serious pain, although it gave me excellent whining grounds for multiple body massages. I think that was the only good part. I was also pretty much unable to get up on my horse and had to be lifted into the saddle. Pathetic, I know. Why did I sign up for this, again? Oh yeah, because I am F-A-T. Got it. Bring on Monday!